What is Self Esteem?

What is self esteem? It is merely an opinion of how you see yourself. There are two types namely high self esteem and low self esteem and between the two, it is better to have the first. This is because high self-esteem enables you to love yourself for who you are while low self esteem doesn’t make you grow as a person and make you successful.

But where do you get self-esteem? Well as a child, you get it from your parents. If they raised you right and praised you for your achievements, chances are you will have a positive outlook of yourself and life. If you happen to be raised by parents who are not very caring, well you won’t see the positive qualities you have and will have an angry outlook at the world.

You can also get this from your friends and your peers because sometimes, how we feel about ourselves is based on the perception of others. If you are able to ignore the negative sentiment, you are fine because you don’t let such words affect you.

In the end though, your self esteem comes from inside you. To figure that out, you can ask yourself some simple questions. Do you like who you are? Are you happy? Do you think you are a good person? Most of the time, the answer is yes even if sometimes you have doubts about yourself.

To get rid of those doubts, well you should first accept your faults and realize that you are not the only one that has this problem. Everyone has a few flaws that they want to get rid of so you must have the willingness to change in order to improve yourself.

Another thing you should accept is that you are different from the rest. This is not only in terms of your physical attributes but also who you are personally just like each person has their own set of fingerprints that can never be duplicated by anyone else.

For those that need help, well they can get counseling to improve their self-esteem or listen to self-help tapes that are designed to do the same thing as well.

Another technique which won’t cost you a thing will be to write down on a piece of paper 50 things you like about yourself and then cherishing it. Since we all grow and change every single day, try to write down one good thing you did about yourself daily so you can look up and realize that you are not a bad person.

When you have high self esteem, you are less likely to do anything destructive to yourself or to others. This is because you have a positive outlook about life and are always optimistic about the future. With that, you can probably say you can get anything you want out of life when you have this quality but remember not to confuse it with being too overconfident because there are two different things.

Another benefit of high self esteem is being able to have an easier time handling problems and resisting negative pressures. But we should not forget that is something that we inherit and not something we are born with. This can change in the years to come only if we allow it and if this happens, hopefully we can be better than who we were before rather than going the opposite direction.

What Happens When One Suffers From Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem has been frequently considered the cause of a lot of the world’s social problems—from crime, to the inability of people to socially interact with other people. However, there has been little consideration as to what it really is, and what tangible effects it may have on a person. In order to understand what it is and, in effect, resolve some of its detriments, it is first important to explore some basic concepts related to it, as well as its various impacts.

To begin with, self esteem is the value people associate themselves with. Therefore, unlike the misconception that self esteem is how confident people are about what they can do, self esteem is really more self-worth than confidence. The latter, after all, is more associated with the belief in one’s own ability to perform future tasks, whereas self-worth is how they see their own selves at the present time.

However, this is not to say that self esteem is a variable concept. Quite the contrary, psychologists consider self esteem as a rather enduring conception that people have about themselves, despite the fact that there may be some instances of a person’s self worth momentarily faltering in the opposite direction.

When people suffer from feelings of low self worth, they often compare themselves to other people. In the process, they see their flaws sticking out, making them less respectable than the people they are comparing themselves to. They will see what they lack and what they do not possess, and over-glorify the good traits that other people may have.

Increased paranoia over the possibility that people are making fun of them may also take place. They may be overly afraid of being judged when they go out in public with their flaws so obvious for the world to see. This will create within them strong feelings of self hate and self loathing.

There are also moments when people who suffer from low levels of self esteem feel as though they do not deserve the things they have, or are not worth the love their friends or family bestow on them. They will often feel like they are not worth the trouble, and clearly a waste of whatever time, money, and effort that people may be spending in order to be with them or to make them feel special.

They may then withdraw from whatever social interactions they have, or may at least have some difficulty interacting with other people. They may become overly sensitive to critique, and may often feel helpless and vulnerable even when around the people who truly care for them. Unfortunately, some of them may also express whatever self hate they feel through anger and increased intolerance of what other people have to say to them.

Some indicators of some form of low self esteem may include an obsessive form of perfectionism. People who suffer from such low self worth tend to impose impossible standards upon themselves, and therefore foster deeper feelings of self hate as they are unable to meet these expectations. They may also be too willing to please other at their own expense. This is usually because whatever affirmation they receive from other people become ways for them to see themselves, at least momentarily, as worthy of respect and love.

Unfortunately, without that nod of approval from other people, they will again express feelings of worthlessness.

The Self-Esteem Test

Self-esteem is something we all have. Some have a higher one compared to others and if you know someone who has low self-esteem, you can help them change by handing them a self-esteem test.

One thing you can follow is the self-esteem test that is handed out by a specialist to a patient. This is made up of seven categories and it is only after that person answers it that you can find a way to build up their self esteem.

The first category in the exam is called procrastination. The purpose of the first section is to try and figure out what are the work habits of the individual. Does this person do things on their own or do they need a little push to get the job done.

The next category will determine whether the person is a risk taker or not. If you are risk taker, this means that you have high self-esteem and are optimistic about whatever life offers to you. If you have low esteem, you just want to play it safe rather than rock the boat.

Is it wrong to play safe? No but you have to remember that if you don’t do it, someone else will and you will probably kick yourself in the head if you found out that they succeeded in doing something which you planned to do yourself.

The third category will assess how well you cope with mistakes. Yes well all regret doing a few things in our life but have you moved on? Some people have and some people still carry it with them. Individuals with high self-esteem are able to overcome the failure in the past and get on the saddle again whenever they fall.

Aside from having regrets, the next category will check whether or not you generalize about a lot of things in life. When we generalize, we don’t give people a chance and stick to the belief that it if looks like a duck, talks like a duck then it is a duck.

But remember, each person we meet is different so whatever preconceived notions you have about someone are not real unless you give them a chance.

The fifth category will check if we have anger issues. What ticks you off? We all have our limits but some individuals are easily angered compared to others. The test will also figure out what causes it and so a lesson plan can be made to try and change that.

Some people can easily get along with others while some are shy which is why they don’t have many friends or have a difficult time keeping a relationship. The sixth category in the self-esteem test will determine how well you relate to others especially people you have never met.

Finally, the last category of the self-esteem will ask if the person is happy or not. Although self-esteem is all about accepting what you have and not thinking about what you don’t, some people can’t help but want more.

Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting more but you must never forget or take for granted what you already have.

After analyzing the self-esteem exam, you will more or less know what the person thinks of themselves and others. You can now figure out a way to change some of those misconceptions. You can talk to them or let a specialist take care of it. The important thing is that they change their ways.

The Need for Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a good source of mental health and good well –being and the need for self- esteem is as important as the need for mental development as the body craves for food.

It has been observed that individuals with good self –esteem are more assertive, relaxed and at peace with themselves, who live balanced lives and always crave for self- improvement.

These people are usually independent thinkers and their outlook, oftentimes, positively create an impact on other people surrounding them. Here are some common tips in maintaining a high self –esteem.

Optimism is very important, since it creates the atmosphere of positive state. In case things do not work out the way it should be, stop for a minute and think about how to make the most out of the situation.

Know how to differentiate between your strengths and your weaknesses. Having a good self- esteem does not mean not being helpless at times and needing help from others. Sometimes, we need all the encouragement that we can get especially in moments of weakness when we feel down and blue. After all, nobody’s perfect.

Know your fears and conquer them. Knowing how to confront your fears will help you overcome adversities and will make you more confident about yourself.

Assertiveness is also important in developing self-esteem, especially when faced with situations where it is necessary to say no. Not every situation in life merits a yes, and sometimes when faced with situations that call for one to say no, it is important to stress the point and drive your message home and be proud of that decision.

Take good care of your mind and body. Many self –gratifying measures deal with efforts to take good care of not just mental health, but also of physical development and attractiveness.

Self–esteem can also result from self –satisfaction and confidence. Set expectations with yourself, especially by setting goals and ambitions, which are good motivators that can drive a person to aim for success.

Compliment yourself and always willingly accept it from others. This is one way of telling yourself that you have done the right thing and that you have done good.

Do not eat too much or watch the news or violent movies before going to sleep. Always make it a point to sleep well, that way, you start the day right and refreshed as you carry yourself.

Having fun is as much as keeping and maintaining a balanced mood all throughout the day. This will keep an individual maintain a positive outlook and, ultimately, be also a good motivator to aim for success and development.

It can also help strengthen the immune system.

Make it a point to always release pent-up negative emotions, since keeping them inside may result to repressed emotions that could affect a person’s day to day mental demeanor. As much has possible, never try to be a perfectionist, especially in dealing with other people or even with the way affairs are being conducted.

After all, nothing is practically perfect in the world and sometimes, the sense of thinking that something could be flawed can turn out to be frustrating especially for perfectionists.

Lastly, surround yourself with supportive and positive people, and try to let go of people that you believe can pull you down or make you lose your identity as a person or an individual.

Understanding the need for self –esteem is important, especially if you want to know how to understand what it means to be a person.

Symptoms of Low Self Esteem to Look Out For

Nobody is shielded from low self esteem. However, it is important to differentiate between feelings of low esteem from sadness, or from the effects of a string of bad days. There are a couple of symptoms of low self esteem that you can look out for if you feel that you or a loved one may be suffering from low self esteem.

First, it is important to realize that unlike sadness or feeling like you woke up from the wrong side of the bed does not constitute low self esteem. This is because psychologists often consider self esteem as a persisting self-conception. This enduring self-image can permeate into a person’s every activities, as it is at the core of a person’s conception of his or her self-worth.

One of the first symptoms is constant self-deprecation. You may find that a person with low self esteem will easily say bad things about his or her self, passing comments even about how they are not worth the time or effort that people give them. They may also talk about their incapacity to fulfil their duties.

In addition to self-deprecation, people suffering from low self esteem will constantly express unhappiness about their bodies and how they look. Poor self-image is one of the most telling signs of low self esteem. They may constantly be paranoid and sensitive about what people think about how they look. What’s worse, some of them may respond to this bad self-image through some form of eating disorder.

People who suffer from low self esteem may be obsessed with order, forcing themselves to comply by an impossible standard of perfection in whatever task they are involved in. This may make them work slower than others, and may make them more vulnerable to feelings of not doing well because of their own impossible expectations. This feeling of failure (despite the fact that they did not fail, except by their own impossible, perfectionist standards) helps further feed their bad perception of their own self-worth.

They may also be extremely eager to please, depending very heavily on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They find no pleasure in completing and succeeding in tasks unless they are recognized by the people whose opinions they believe matter.

They may even be all too eager to compare themselves to other people they have high regard to. However, it is important to note that these comparisons, for them, fulfil the necessary function of highlighting what they lack and what flaws they possess.

While there are those who withdraw from society as a result of their low self esteem, there are those who respond by uninhibited anger against themselves or other people. They may express this either by hurting themselves or the people around them, even if these people are not those who triggered feelings of anger. After all, because of low self esteem, these people begin to hate themselves and the people around them. They are also likelier to suddenly explode in anger over very little issues when they feel that they are being cornered or humiliated.

By identifying the symptoms of low self esteem, you will be able to determine the best course of action in order to appropriately respond. If you or someone you know scores positively in terms of these symptoms, then it may be good to seek help as soon as possible from a psychologist or therapist.

Success in Building Self Esteem

Self esteem is often defined as an individual’s enduring perception of how much he or she is worth as a person. However, despite this seemingly permanent nature of how one esteems his or her worth, there are ways in order to make a less than desirable level of self esteem improve over time. True, there are a huge number of stories that point in the direction of failure, but there are in fact ways to find success in building self esteem.

To begin, it is important to understand that if your loved one—be it family or friend, suffers from low self esteem—trying to convince him or her that they are worth so much more than they think they are is not the way to go. In fact, trying to build their self esteem does not involve any sort of radical shift in perception. Self love and self respect is something that you continually work on and build over time.

Trying to convince people of their self worth by constant affirmation may even backfire, as you are in effect shattering their worldview about how badly they see themselves. When these individuals see themselves so negatively, this disturbance of their worldview in such sudden and aggressive means may backlash, causing them to violently retaliate or to withdraw from other people almost immediately.

As such, helping build self esteem involves a more supportive than active role on your part. As your loved one continues to discover his or her self worth, all you have to do is affirm them appropriately as they progress in the process of building the self esteem they so delicately try to improve.

This is because unlike injuries, or even assistance in homework and the like, the development of a healthy level of self esteem is more a personal journey than anything. People with low self esteem must begin this journey by slowly accepting themselves, with equal appreciation for their flaws and their gifts. They may then begin to please themselves before seeking to please other people. Once that happens, they begin setting realistic goals for themselves and all the while recognizing the credit they are due in all the things that they do.

The process of self acceptance to greater self love may be aided by trained professionals in order that this process becomes successful. In many instances, therapy with trained psychologists is known to work very well. In sessions with these psychologists, individuals are given the opportunity to review their negative perceptions, and begin to re-evaluate whatever negative perceptions they may have had about themselves since their childhood.

Participation in activities that help them to discover their gifts and talents have been proven to help a lot. As such, even as they are undergoing therapy, you can help your loved one pick out an activity or class that they can participate in. It will help if you choose an activity that you’ve always felt they could further develop. Music, art, sports, dancing, and the like are good areas to begin.

Not only will they discover whatever talents they have that have gone uncultivated, but they are also able to find an avenue through which they can constructively express themselves and their feelings. Once they gain some feeling of ownership over a particular activity and talent, it can become one of the things they can appreciate more about who they are as people.

At the end of the day, being successful in helping a loved one in the process of building self esteem involves not only being there for them, but helping them get the help they need from professionals. Act as support in these tough moments, affirming the improvements they are making over time. Help them discover their talents and gifts, and recognize whatever achievements they gain in the process.

Self–Esteem Among Adults and Children

Little do people know about how parents have an effect on their kids, but studies have revealed that there is a strong correlation on self –esteem among adults and children. An adult’s outlook often has similar characteristics as it has with their children, especially on how they value their self worth, since parents with low esteem are more likely to encourage their children to give importance or value themselves highly as well.

Such problems could be devastating to children since they could grow up to be timid or shy, reclusive or less sociable.

This could even result to children growing up less sociable and detached from society, since confidence –building measures have not been introduced properly during the younger years that could affect relationships, careers and even the drive for success.

Adults should therefore be conscious about things that they manifest to children, since role-play is key to the growing up years of children, what they see in adults, they see in themselves. Self–esteem is important in children as it is important among adults, since it is helpful in helping them make sound decisions and fair judgment in the face of peer pressure, in the same way that adults deal with coping mechanisms in the face of adversity.

Self–esteem also makes children proud about being themselves and on things that they excel in, be it a skill or talent.

It’s what makes children gain acceptance among friends, compared to reclusive ones who shun off company and friends. Just like in adulthood, self–esteem is responsible for bringing about respect in an individual, so is the same with children.

The need or consciousness for self–esteem occurs the moment an individual develops rational thought and conscious processes, which is true among babies who still cannot determine or differentiate good from bad and are still not capable of rational thought.

Self–esteem becomes a need for people, the moment they feel the ups and downs of day to day situations and circumstances, especially in coping with those they feel as adversities of life in the face of social pressure or individual inner battles.

The older children get, they are tasked with the bigger responsibility of developing their own self –esteem, which can be governed or influenced by the way perceive it from role examples – especially in their own parents.

One of the best manifestations of self-esteem among children is a sense of humor, since it bespeaks of confidence and self- acceptance that is gauged by how they carry themselves in public or among a number of peers in a social group.

The sense of self-esteem among children is what helps them motivate to achieve more, not only because they crave for more attention or acceptance, but also they themselves would want to satisfy their inner conscience and feel good about themselves. A good self–esteem makes kids see things in a positive manner, makes them want to do more and always aspire to do the right things, that is, with the proper guidance and examples that is set before them.

As parents, always try to make it a point to always make it a point for their children to develop good self–esteem, because it is what shapes them for the future.

So by now, you see the importance of self- esteem among adults and children.